Have me, hold me, save me
by SerenNoir
Summary: Ben has only ever been absolutely sure of one thing: Juliet was his. If he has to, he'll find a 1000 ways to prove her wrong and that it isn't about defeat. Benliet.


This is the first time I've written something in close to a year and a half. I'm trying to get back into the swing of it. Hopefully I can achieve this by writing in a different fandom than I'm used to. Just so happens_ Lost _is on Netflix and I never watched it while it was out on television. Until now. Keep in mind that I've only watched it all the way through once and will probably stray from the original plot. Most of it on purpose; I feel like taking a creative license with the show.

Disclaimer: I am not the brain-child behind _Lost_.

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Have me, hold me, save me

There was something about her blue eyes that just unstitched Ben. His obsession with Juliet began the moment she stepped off that sub three years ago and onto his dock. Maybe even before that when he read her file and immediately knew she was the woman for _his_ island. In that past three years, he had lost count how many times she had begged and pleaded to be sent home. Her usefulness had not yet run its course, however. It was true she had been unable to keep any of the pregnant women on the island alive, but he could not imagine his island without Juliet on it.

The news that she wanted Jack to kill him during the surgery was no news at all. He hadn't been the most understanding boss and imagined that Juliet held a particular sort of grudge after he had shown her Goodwin's corpse on the hillside. Now here he was, alive and bedridden, just hours after the surgery with a promise on his mind that he didn't plan to keep.

Tom came and went, bringing with him ice water and lukewarm bowls of oatmeal which he administered with the bedside manner of a goat. Somehow he managed to keep down the tasteless gruel and drifted into a semi-conscious state brought on by the pain radiating through his spine.

His bedroom door creaked open a half hour later; he assumed it was Jack with his medication. Instead, Juliet sat in the chair that was pulled up next to the bed, a bowl of sweet mangoes in her lap. She looked the picture of sweet innocence even though Ben was there when her true plan was revealed.

She eased him to a sitting position slowly, supporting his back with pillows. He tried to hide the grimace on his face as his back was jarred painfully.

"Juliet," his mouth was dry, "what are you doing here?"

"I figured I'd give Tom a break." She speared a mango slice with a fork and brought it to his mouth. The tart juice hit his tongue and he almost moaned at the taste of something other than oatmeal.

"Have you thanked Jack yet?" Juliet inquired.

"Thanked him for what? Going through with the surgery or not listening to you and not killing me on the operating table?"

Juliet's eyes hardened immediately. Ben loved when she was angry with him. Over the years he had conjured up many a fantasy involving an angry Juliet. Ben had never had angry make-up sex before, but he imagined any kind of sex with Juliet was bound to be…eventful.

The clank of the fork dropping into the bowl broke him from his thoughts. "I used to hate you, Ben. Used to loathe waking up knowing I would have to eventually run into you that day. Mostly, I just pity you now."

"I'm sorry to hear that since I happen to hold you in the utmost regard, Juliet." She stared him down and it didn't take a genius to see that she wanted nothing more than to slug him hard in the jaw.

"I'm yours, right?"

"Excuse me?" Their conversation was taking a baffling turn.

"You said so yourself. I'm yours. But I'll tell you what, Ben, if you can come over here and prove to me you hold me in such great respect, you can have me."

Ben searched her face for any sign of bluffing. Was she posing a threat? Juliet's eyes bore into his; she wasn't kidding. This wasn't a joke. Ben shifted slowly, trying to bring his body closer to her, but his back protested strongly and he sank back in the cushion of his pillow, weak and near-defeated. Juliet was leading the game now and he was just playing along.

"I thought as much." Her face wore a smug expression, although her eyes hinted strongly at disappointment. It was this fleeting look in her eyes that spurred Ben into action. He would always grasp at whatever straw he could get his hands onto, especially if that straw held the promise of Juliet actually harboring any feelings for him.

Mustering up all the strength he held in his bruised and battered body, Ben sat up fully and leaned over the edge of the bed. Catching Juliet's slim hand in his clammy one, he slowly lowered his lips to rest gently upon her knuckles. The warm trickle of blood soaked spots into his cotton shirt where a few of the fresh stitches there split upon stretching past their limit.

"Since I've come to this island, I've done everything in the name of Jacob. I've given him everything: my service, my devotion, my undying loyalty to this island. Anything I claim in my power is ultimately his. Except you, dear Juliet. He cannot take you from me. Ever. So, yes when I say you're mine it's because I mean .mine and can never and will never be his."

Juliet held her hand rigid within his and Ben immediately feared he overstepped a boundary somewhere. Maybe she had been bluffing all along! Softly, slowly, her fingers curled over his.

"It amazes me how much I put up with you. There are times where I could never rationalize feeling any sort of endearment towards a man so manipulative, so hateful. And then there are the times where I would want nothing more to curl up between your arms and let you take me away from this dreadful rock."

Her voice was a tiny sound amongst the vicious beating Ben's heart was performing on the inside of his rib cage. But he heard and understood nonetheless. He reached up and traced her smooth cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Then allow me to take you away, Juliet."

She folded before him then, like a stack of cards, all the fight leaving her body and her shoulders sagged from the weight of it all. Ben eased back onto the bed in the most comfortable position he could find, opening his arms to embrace her. She hesitated once, only once, and curled into his chest on the bed. Ben could feel the soft warmth of her chest pressing up against his ribs and he allowed himself to be still. He wanted nothing more than to tilt her chin up and capture her sweet mouth in a kiss and later, when his body was up for the challenge, to worship her body as long as she would let him.

Yet, he couldn't risk spooking her into leaving his side. After all these years, he was finally feeling a little control in his life. The power struggle between he and Jacob would never see its end, he knew that much, but Juliet was his and he would do everything and anything in his power to keep it that way.

His. Only his.

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It's possible I may continue this. Save to your alerts if you're interested.


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